If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
