i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
