we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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