So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize