I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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