your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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