his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is wine microwaveable?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
