I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i drank out of a bidet.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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