You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
