you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
