The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
