Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we're making bets on your personal life
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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