Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
