You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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