He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
