I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
