shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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