their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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