first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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