I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
