The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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