She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
