Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
