I wannas sexs uuuuu
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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