I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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