I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
