My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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