and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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