im about as happy as oj after his trial
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
