My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
