every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
