No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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