My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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