He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
