I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
