the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
