he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
