I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
