Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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