I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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