Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I forget how to act sober
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