i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
