i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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