physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I am mentally ready for anal.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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