If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize