Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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