Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
