I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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