I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
