I skipped work to stalk him.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
