Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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