I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
