She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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