I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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