Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
