thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
