just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
