Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
