Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
