theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
