I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
